The Weekender

5) Morrissey, Kristeen Young at BAM

Morrissey’s friday night show at BAM marks the cult leader’s second appearance in the hallowed Weekender hall-of-way- to-blow-an-increasingly (thanksWashington)-inadequate-paycheck. Admittedly, I’m not a terribly devoted Smiths fan (no death threats, please), nor a card carrying member of the Church of Morrissey, but the fact that one of our modern architects of cool will be meeting a few of his makers—bouncing his art off that by the likes Philip Glass and Junot Díaz—propels this one into the weekend’s top- five stratosphere.

Friday, doors at 7pm

4) Cool Serbia, The Vandelles, Secret Band, Grand Resort at Secret Brooklyn Venue

Everybody loves a good mystery andBrooklynnoise stalwarts, The Vandelles, are serving one up this weekend with a hush-hush show at their pseudo-secret loft space. Headlined by Cool Serbia, featuring popular bill attaches Grand Resort, and boasting an open bar (expect canned domestic beer), this show is going to be small, packed, cheap and pretty damn fun for all those Hardy Boy/noise punk fans out there. Viva la DIY!

Friday, doors at 9pm

3) Reggie Watts, Shining Mirrors, Baby Alpaca at Glasslands Gallery

Stuffing a personality (not to mention an Afro) as massive as Reggie Watts’s into a venue as small as Glasslands is the perfect recipe for either a social reactor meltdown or a set so amazing you won’t shut up about until the Twitter follower hemorrhage fully bleeds out. Thanks toWatts’s flash grenade talent and catch-all performance stir -fries, this one has all the makings of the latter. Good for you, bad for your social media empire.

Sunday, doors at 8:30pm

2) DIIV, Widowspeak at Brooklyn Bowl

The concept of brunch, to me, screams “alcoholic trust fund baby who could probably use a few more bicycle crunches in their life”. Understandably, this Scrooge-ism has impacted my life in a variety of fun-killing ways, most recently in my skepticism about this free, après-mimosa offering located just off one of the Williamsburg Cultural Expressway’s first exits. A good show, however, is ultimately about good music and DIIV and Widowspeak are arguablyBrooklyn’s most consistently competitive middleweight fighters. Needless to say, my egg-white omelet hostilities might just have to sleep in on Sunday.

Sunday, doors at 11:30am

1) Parquet Courts, PC Worship, Household, Priests at Death By Audio

Better get used to the way this looks, as Parquet Courts are, 10 days into the New Year, officially the biggest NYC buzz band of 2013. The subject of recent hot-potato profiles, courtesy of Pitchfork, Spin, and the Village Voice, and the owners of opening gigs for the likes of Fucked Up and, in April, Iceage, the Ridgewood by way of Texas quartet seem poised for run of almost DIIV-like domination. There is no telling how long this guitar rock retrophilia will hold out, however, so this weekend’s Death by Audio show might be one of your last chances to catch the post-punkers before they are cast back out of cool by some chillwave (remember that?) wizard’s synthesized sorcery. (Probably won’t happen, so let’s not get all December 21st about this. Seriously, guys, you can put down the canned corn and come out of the bunker. Everything is going to be fine.)

Friday, doors at 8pm

 

Honorable Mentions

Working a Double

DIIV at Brooklyn Bowl (again)

Stale

Cake at The Wellmont Theatre

The Weekender Blue Balls Award

Purity Ring at Webster Hall