The Weekender

5) Corrosion of Conformity, Royal Thunder at Saint Vitus

As I hope you noticed, valued and loyal reader, The Weekender took last weekend off; too busy clearing the trees out of its backyard and pumping brackish water out its of basement recording studio while shedding equally salty and/or bitter tears to be bothered with writing, I suppose. Putting the vengeance in this week’s “back with a vengeance” theme, however, are stoner rock Mariano Riveras Corrosion of Conformity and bewitchingly badass Sabbath-ites Royal Thunder, who trade sets at Saint Vitus on Friday night. Thank Ronnie James Dio that the G is back on its shaky, liver-spotted old-man legs in time for the first feedback squeals.

Friday, doors at 8pm

4) Tame Impala, The Amazing at Webster Hall

Let’s just get something out of the way: Online music opinion leaders hit on the Aussie quartet’s sophomore effort Lonerism with about the same subtly as an ex-frat boy hits on a fake-id-brandishing college chick in the sexual harassment Petri dish that is any Murray Hill bar. This is about 27.3% of the reason this show crushes MSL’s hand-dandy Saturday night show-rank algorithm. The other 82.7%  has to do with the fact that these guys aren’t afraid to actually play…and play…and play their instruments. Concise, self-contained punk poetry it isn’t. Beautiful, skull-expanding psych that is capable of skipping planets like stones it certainly is.

Friday, doors at 7pm

3) Red Fang, Black Tusk, Indian Handcrafts at Bowery Ballroom

If you’re metal fan, then this weekend is sure have you twitching like a pervert in a porn shop. The second of three totally bruise-worthy shows to make the top five this weekend, this one pairs an Oregon stoner roast with aged Savannah sludge and ADHD-driven Canadian riffery, giving that black-jean and neck-tattoo-hungry palate a run for its taste buds. My Pacific Northwest and Georgia metal biases are in full-effect on this one but the chance to catch recent Trending alums Indian Handcrafts before they go and blow up like their fellow noise-nuck buddies METZ should not be missed.

Sunday, doors at 7pm

2) Heliotropes, Zula, Fantasmas at Matchless (Fuck. Off. Sandy Benefit)

Combining great music, a better cause and an under-the-radar venue, this awesomely titled Fuck. Off. Sandy benefit show is a superstorm in its own right…only way radder. As if the prospect of seeing the Heliotrope ladies treat their instruments like loser ex-boyfriends wasn’t enough to pull you from your hangover/Chinese takeout/Walking Dead binge of Sunday self-loathing then the fact that all proceeds from the show go directly to NYC Cares should practically put on that pair of pants on for you.

Sunday, doors at 3pm

1) Converge, Torche, Kvelertak at Highline Ballroom

Given some of the terrifyingly irrational pushing, shoving, toe-crushing, and generally homicidal behavior exhibited on my poor L-inundated M train this week (I was called a “white, country-ass motherfucker” by a particularly astute albeit wildly claustrophobic woman just yesterday morning), I would venture to say that much of this city’s storm-shafted constituents are in desperate need of something to flick the ol’ pent-up steam release switch. This show, headlined by element-grizzled east coasters Converge and hurricane-accustomed Miami trio Torche, looks to provide exactly that with their distinctly contrasting interpretations of badass. If you have yet to experience the post-nuclear char of Converge’s All We Love We Leave Behind and bubblegum blister of Torche’s Harmonicraft pick them up and then get your ass out to the Hudson for some much needed and totally cathartic eardrum abuse.

Sunday, doors at 6:30pm

 

Honorable Mentions

Ninth Circle of Hell

Mimosa, Curren$y at Best Buy Theater

noe.

moe. at The Captiol Theatre

The Dearest-Mr.Rollins-I-Promise-I-Will-Never-Make-Fun-Of-You-Again-In-My-Pathetic-Soapbox-I-Call-A-Colum-If-You-Would-Be-So-Kind-As-To-Give-My-Spine-Back Show of the Weekend

Henry Rollins at Joe’s Pub